Sorry for not posting yesterday. It was a busy evening. I went to the Akathist to the Theotokos and then went out for coffee with some friends. I wasn’t going to go because it was after 7 p.m. and I knew if I went out I’d be tempted to eat. But I decided to join them anyway when I got home and realized that Bruce, Richard & Mark were going to be meeting together, which meant I’d be stuck in the bedroom. After I went for coffee I realized that I could have watched The Ark of Truth, but by then I was already mostly at the restaurant. It was nice to visit, but I did eat. We had shrimp and onion rings. I ate about 4 shrimp, a couple pieces of bread and 3 onion rings. When I got home I felt kind of sick to my stomach because I’d been doing smoothies all day, so hadn’t really eaten anything. That and the onion rings were greasy, which I haven’t done for a while, either.
I went to the Akathist because next week Father Bernard is going to talk with the Youth about what the Akathist service means and then we are going to participate in the service. I’ve never been to this service before, so thought I should attend at least one before being there with the Youth. I still don’t know what I think about the whole service. But it was interesting to hear Mary referred to as the Bride of God and the Mother of God. In a way, she was both. I’m not sure I can verbalize what I’m thinking, though. Let’s see if I can try. This may be fuzzy and convoluted.
Mary is believed in the Orthodox Church to have had an extraordinary beginning. Tradition says that she was raised in the Temple, and when she grew older wanted to remain there. However, because she was a woman, she could not and so it was arranged for her to be betrothed to an older man so that she could maintain her chastity but would still be taken care of. Keep in mind that betrothal was not like an engagement now-a-days. It was much more committed and required divorce to separate, and yet the couple had not yet consummated the marriage. I would assume that they were prepared to remain this way indefinitely. Then the whole thing about Mary being pregnant came out, Joseph said he’d divorce her quietly, Joseph found out he shouldn’t, and the story goes on.
Theotokos means ‘God Bearer.’ Mary carried God in her womb. Now stop for a minute and think about that. The God of the Universe, the God before all Creation, the God who created you and me and the animals and the trees, the Almighty, All-Powerful, All-Knowing God was inside Mary. Mary – the Mother of God. Can you imagine carrying God in your womb? That’s a pretty big deal. God the Father gave Mary God the Son to carry. As much as I can say that God could have chosen anyone (and He could have), He chose Mary. Only one person could be chosen. This isn’t a role multiple people can have. It’s only happened once and will never happen again. So no matter how much I’d like to think that I could be like Mary, or that Mary could’ve been like any other woman, that’s not true. No other woman in history, or in the future for that matter, is like Mary.
And can I truly say that Mary would have born the Son of God, God Himself, and not been changed? She truly would have been blessed. It’s a blessing to carry any child in a pregnancy. Woman in general are blessed to be able to carry the image of God in the form of another human being and have it bring forth life. But to carry God. That’s almost unbelievable. And I can see the point that she is due honour simply because of who she is. Although I come from a culture that doesn’t really give honour to people just because of who they are. Maybe if I grew up in a monarchy where it was expected to honour the king or queen, I’d understand a little better. But I’m not in that. I’m in a culture where informality is respected more and the expectation is that I will honour someone who has done something to deserve the honour – earned the right of my honour – rather than someone who just is. It’s easy to think that Mary didn’t really ‘do’ anything. She just said, “Yes,” to God. And it’s easy enough for me to think that if I were asked something like that of God, I would say, “Yes,” too. But I wasn’t asked, so it becomes a moot point.
The fuzzy part for me is the difference between honouring Mary and worshipping God. I guess it’s because I don’t have a clear understanding of the practical difference between the two.
So I didn’t post all the above because by the time I went to bed it was about 11 p.m. and I’ve been wanting to get to bed by 10 p.m. during Lent.
So now here it is almost 11 again tonight, and I’m not in bed. But I had a lot to say, and didn’t think I could wait another day before saying it. So, I’ll start on today’s thoughts.
Today I went to a friend’s place to learn how to bake Prosphora bread and to go for a walk. I did both. The walk wasn’t as fast a pace as what I walk to work in the mornings (maybe because I wasn’t running late, or maybe because I was visiting while walking), but I really enjoyed today’s walk. Work is so much more fun when you do it with someone else.
We finished the first round of canvassing for The Kidney Foundation while the kids were at Church School. We’ll try again tomorrow, and then call it quits. I think we’ve done well, though. We didn’t get much door-to-door, but the people who know me and know I’ve been collecting donations have been generous. I said to someone that I think people are more likely to give who know me and know what I’m going through than someone at the door. Strangers have no reason to think about The Kidney Foundation unless they know someone personally; whereas, people who know me know that I’m going through the process of working toward a kidney transplant – and they most likely also know that both my kids have PKD. Making it personal makes a huge difference in perspective.
I also ran into a friend from Living Hope today. It was nice to visit. We were standing in the store for about an hour. I’m so glad for times like that. How do we pick the good or great things in our lives that we will spend our time on. We have so many choices now and can’t possibly do everything. God give me wisdom.
So my eating today was okay, overall, I think. I had a second helping at lunch, but that was because I hadn’t really had breakfast (unless you count 2 cups of coffee as breakfast. It was decaf). And I filled my plate more than once at supper, but it was because first I had a portabella mushroom burger with sweet potatoe fries and then I had spinach and strawberry salad. After 7 all I had was a piece of the bread from the memorial service at vespers tonight.
Sometimes I have felt light-headed, and I’m not sure if that’s because of the Lenten food, or that I’m not eating enough, or just because that’s what is happening to my body. I’ve also felt sick to my stomach, but that was happening before going to the surgeon and doing this diet change stuff.
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