Reflections

I have started walking to work in the mornings again. Last year I walked quite often, but this year, for one reason or another, I haven’t walked much. It’s nice to have the extra time to do some thinking.

This morning I was thinking that considering where I was a year ago, I’ve come a long way. I have bought into this whole Orthodoxy thing hook, line and sinker. Even in January last year if someone told me I would be where I am today, I’m not so sure I would have believed them. Oh, I knew that we were going to be going to an Orthodox church. But I don’t think I would have believed that I would ever really “fit.” Now I’m involved with the youth and am responsible for taking minutes at church meetings. There are other ways I’m involved, too. I’m not one to be a part of a church without doing something. And it really feels like our community. It helps that we have a “lunch” after church every Sunday, which is a great time of fellowship. It’s so great, in fact, that it ranks among the most favourite things my kids like to do. They call it the “basement time.” If we have basement time at church, they are willing to come to anything. *lol*

And part of the reason I thought of this is because I was thinking about my paternal grandmother. She told me about how when she lived in a Communist country she had to stand up for the fact that she believed in Jesus. She wore a picture of him around her neck. When she was at work one time her boss told her she had to take it off. She looked at me (as I imagine she looked at him) and said very forcefully in her wonderful Hungarian accent, “You can put whatever communist symbol you want beside my Jesus, but I will not take my Jesus off!” I’d like to think that some of my stubbornness comes from her. Although I think some of it comes from my mom, too.

I didn’t get to grow up with that Grandma. I wish I had. I only got to know her when I was older, but she was an amazing lady. The only thing is, I wonder sometimes if she had really known me while I was growing up if she would have liked me half as much. I wasn’t a very kind teenager. I was selfish and irresponsible (even though many adults said I was very responsible for my age).

So you may be wondering what the connection between my buying into Orthodoxy and my Grandma is. While I was Protestant, I never would have thought to talk to her. Today on my way to work I asked her to pray for me. And I thanked her for being so willing to welcome me back to the family when I felt like I had no right to be there. I have so little of her – a few memories and her art that she gave as presents for our wedding. And when I was Protestant I would sometimes question her faith. Orthodoxy has enabled me to see beyond the human boundaries we put on faith. Not that I think all paths lead to God – but who am I to judge whether or not God will show His mercy and grace on another person? Maybe I would have come to that realization if we had stayed where we were. But there is so much in the Orthodox Church that has challenged my way of thinking. I find I’m often reevaluating my point of view.

I miss my loved ones who are gone now. I miss my grandparents, my mom, my birth father. Sometimes I feel like an orphan even though I still have my Dad. I’ve never been really close to my Dad. I wish that would change. I love him very much but just don’t know how to bridge the gap. Sometimes I feel so isolated from family. I’m glad for Bruce’s parents. I also have an aunt and uncle from my birthfather's family who have treated me as much a part of the family as though I'd never not been a part of it. They are all such a wonderful blessing. I just wish we lived closer.

Well, I’m not sure that I quite expected all of this to come out when I sat down to write. But I guess this is what is in me at the moment. And I wonder where I will be at this time next year.

Random Thoughts

I have been tired the last while. I’ve described to a friend that my head feels like my brain is too big for my head, and my eyes are sore. It may be that I’m coming down with a cold, or it could be because my back is so sore, it hurts. Or maybe I’m retaining water. I’ve been really thirsty today, but I think part of that is because I don’t think I drank enough yesterday.

Our youth meeting didn’t have a large turnout. I think my lesson went over okay anyway. We’re planning to do a Bigger and Better night for the next time. Hopefully we’ll get a larger turnout.

We have 3 computers in our house. I know, that sounds excessive. But really, one is about 6 years old (which I bought for Bruce), one was given to us by a family member (their old one which was in better shape than ours), and a laptop (also given to us because its owner did not need it). I mention our computers because the one I bought for Bruce (we call it the ‘corner’ computer) has been acting up for a while where it randomly shuts down when it wants to and we keep wondering how long it will last. And just recently we’ve started getting a warning on the main computer (the one given to us – not the laptop) that the hard drive is about to go. So that means our “main” computer may end up being a laptop. Or we’re thinking that when the hard drive in the main computer goes, we’ll replace it with another one (which will most likely be given to us or be cannibalized out of the corner computer). Oh the joys of technology.

This week is Teacher Appreciation week. Give a teacher a smile and word of encouragement. They work hard with the next generation of leaders.

Our kids have been on a break the last week. I think Bruce is really looking forward to school starting again tomorrow!

I think that’s it for now. My head hurts, and I’m going to bed.

Youth & Our Environment

Since after Christmas I have been teaching Youth Catechism at church. I’ve been talking about creation and how, as Christians, we are responsible for taking care of the world. When I was in Bible College I had a teacher, Tom Smith, who changed the way I thought about the world around me. He taught a class called Christians and the Environment, and he talked about the fact that we, as Protestants, had the view that “it’s all going to burn anyway,” but that we shouldn’t think that way. God demands justice for those who are weaker than ourselves, including the widowed, orphaned and alien.

So when I was given an opportunity to help teach the youth and I looked at the materials available, I was excited to see that there is the aspect of the relationship between creation and us. So far we’ve learned that God loves creation, we are kings and queens of creation, and we are priests of creation. Tonight I’m teaching about threats to creation. I’m struggling with the idea that everything I know I’m afraid the teens will already know. They are an age that is being bombarded with the fact that the generations before them have abused the world and it is their responsibility to clean up the mess and start taking better care of it.

Keep in mind, I have been nervous before every class so far. While I’m so excited to be teaching the youth, I’m afraid that I’m not qualified enough, or that I haven’t prepared enough, or I don’t know enough. I’ve been told that so far they are really enjoying coming. I hope they are learning something, too. I have.

Everywhere I look now, I see how the media is striving to educate the public on the use of energy and how we can be more “green friendly.” Sometimes I wonder why Christians haven’t been the ones behind this revolution of thought seeing as we had been given the mandate to take care of creation in the first place. Or, maybe, there are Christians behind the revolution, but it’s just that I haven’t seen them.

Value Village

On Family Day we went looking for skates for Brendan. We found some at Value Village and he went skating on the rink. When he came in from skating, I noticed that there was a big hole in the toe of his skates. I’m fairly sure I didn’t buy them with a hole, but I didn’t check closely for any cracks in the skates. They are in the garbage now. Since the kids are off school this week, Bruce went to another place and bought Brendan some skates - $30 later….. Ouch. I didn’t realize even used skates are that expensive. And it especially seems like a lot for a little backyard rink in February. Can I keep his feet from growing this year?

At Value Village the kids also wanted to buy some books. We let them saying they had to pay us back and so they each picked out 5 books (at $1 a book) and used their Valentine’s money from Grannie and Grampa. I think Brendan has already read all of his books. He gobbles them up like candy – and that’s saying a lot seeing as he is a sugar addict. When Brendan was born, Bruce bought a book called “Raising a Reader” because he wanted to make sure we had kids who loved to read. I’m not sure we ever read the book, but our kids have developed a love for reading anyway. Aside from the fact that Brendan knew all his letters by age 2 and could sound them out by age 4, we have always read to our kids and we read ourselves. I think having books around all the time is bound to rub off on the kids in the house. Shaeleigh is starting to sound out letters and can read some simple words, but she still “reads” her books and loves to show us how she can read. Her reading is stories she has memorized and tells us the story from the pictures, but I love to hear her reading, too.

And I’m sad because while we were at Value Village, I lost my mitts. They weren’t in good shape, but they were warm. I can’t believe anyone would take them as they had been darned once or twice, and even then my thumbs were poking through the outer layer and the palm of the mitts was all ripped. The liner was nice and warm, though. Bruce bought me another pair at a sidewalk sale, but they are not as warm as my ones I lost. *pout* Phooey.

Ice Rink #3

Today the rink was tested with skates for the first time, and it passed the kid test. Shaeleigh put on skates and hit the ice. Granted, it was very bumpy, lumpy, hilly ice - but still ice, nonetheless. She is very proud of the fact that she was out there for two hours. We did an hour of many bum bumps, to the point where she started crying. I was a little late, but eventually I figured out to get the knee pads to help her out. (Bruce said we needed to figure out how to tie a pillow to her bum.) I tried to use the wrist guards, too, but somehow they got wet. They are being dried out and will be used tomorrow. After the first hour outside, we came in and took a hot chocolate break before heading out to the ice for the second half. She still took quite a few falls, one on her nose which almost ended her ice time. But after we stopped the crying and the bleeding, we asked her if she wanted to go inside and the answer was "NO!" The only way we got her back in was because we had to leave to go to the church this evening, and I wanted to flood the ice to try to even out some of the rough spots.
You'll notice that she's actually heading uphill. The ice rink still has a hill, and going up is harder than going down. Except Shaeleigh fell more coming down than going up.

Brendan wasn't out there today because he was playing with a friend. That was a blessing because we don't have skates that fit him. That's what we'll do tomorrow for Family Day. If we happen to find skates for Bruce and I, we may even brave the ice ourselves. Seeing as neither of us has skated since we were kids, and my last skating experience ended in tears (I was 5), it should be interesting.

So, the stubbornness paid off.

Book Meme

I got this from Naomi's blog - which I try to follow faithfully and succeed about as faithfully as I update my own ;D

The directions are:
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open it at page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence/ phrase.
4. Blog the next four sentences/ phrases together with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig your shelves for that very special or intellectual book.
6. Pass it forward to six friends

God was kind and loving to Hannah. She had three more boys and two girls.
February 22
Eli's Bad Sons
1 Samuel 2
Now Eli's sons were bad priests. The didn't obey God. People would bring gifts to the worship tent.
*edit - The above was taken from Day by Day Kid's Bible by Karyn Henley

I was hoping that would be more interesting, but Brendan's bible was the closest thing. It was on top of this one:

The serpent - even in paradise we who have free will cannot escape temptation and things that might lead us away from God. The serpent represents a difficult truth about free will. In order for there to be true free will, there has to be true choices, which means there had to be some choices which are "wrong" or "bad" or "evil." If this was not true and humans could only choose the good, they wouldn't really be free, but rather would be pre-programmed and predestined beings.
*edit: The above was taken from Questioning God: A Look at Genesis 1-3 by Ted Bobosh

Neither of those are mine, but they'll have to do seeing as what I am reading is The Official Magazine Stargate SG-1 / Atlantis the Jan/Feb 2008 issue with Paul McGillion. It was part of my Valentine's present.

And speaking of Valentine's presents, my hubby gave me a present that made me cry. The side of the ring looks like hearts. We saw the ring in a flyer and joked about how it was "totally me" but I never dreamed I'd actually get it. I love it! I really do have the best husband in the world.

Complaining

A little while ago on the news I saw a report on a pastor at a church who thought the world would be a better place if we stopped complaining so much. You can wear a purple bracelet to remind yourself that every time you complain you need to switch it from one arm to the other. I don’t have a bracelet, but I have been thinking about complaining a lot - especially today. It seems like every time I turn around I’m complaining about something. I want to whine about everyone around me being sick and that I'm tired today because I was at a meeting that went late last night. Of course, part of the reason I’m tired is because I hadn’t been getting enough sleep the nights before last. We have a meeting again tonight but I’d really rather just go to bed. For that matter, I told someone recently that most of the time I feel like I just want to crawl under the covers and have the DVD player on where I stare blankly at my TV without having to think about anything.

But I don’t want to be complaining, right?

Hmmmm...... Someone is taking me out for lunch tomorrow! Yay!

It's winter in Saskatchewan !!! Ya Think ?

It's winter in Sask.
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At forty-five below.

Oh, how I love Sask.
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Sask.
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground!!


A friend sent this poem to us by e-mail which I just read tonight. It's appropriate as right now the temperature is -33 with a windchill making it feel like -46!

Random Thoughts

I didn’t remember to blog yesterday until after I’d shut off the computer. Now it’s late and I’d like to be working on the Dr. Sloth plot on Neopets, but I need to head to bed. Everyone around me is sick, and I’m starting to get a runny nose, sneezes, and a sore throat. I went for my ECG and chest x-ray today at the hospital at lunch time. I thought I’d stop at the CRI clinic to get my hepatitis B vaccine, too, but forgot that I need to be 100% healthy – NO SNIFFLES. I’m supposed to call and make an appointment when there is no risk of me being sick. *sniff*

I worked on my lesson for Youth Catechism tomorrow. I hope it goes well. And I hope the kids learn something and have fun. I certainly learned something. For the last two weeks I’ve been trying to figure out what the point of the lesson was. Today while I was waiting for my tests and was reviewing the lesson I had an “Ah ha!” moment where I got it. Once I was at that point, the rest was easy. Now I just hope nobody is going to be upset with me putting paper on the walls in the church basement for the teens to paint on. I also hope we don’t make such a mess that it’ll be impossible to clean. *yikes!*

I keep thinking that I’d like to make time to flood the “rink” again, but that hasn’t happened yet. Maybe Saturday after I go for my glucose test. Yummy. I can hardly wait to drink that orange stuff for the test. *note dripping sarcasm here*

Oh, and on a depressing note – someone at the CRI clinic paid me a compliment and asked if I’ve lost some weight. I stepped on the scale and found out I gained a kilogram. All I could think was, “That’s the wrong direction!” Those 50 pounds I’m supposed to shed are going to kill me.

Shrove Tuesday

Today on the Western calendar was Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Tuesday). Therefore, there was a pancake breakfast at our kids’ school this morning. One of the reasons I love my job: I found out about the breakfast last night and called work this morning to say I’d be late because I was going to the breakfast, and everyone was okay with that. I love my job.

But I mention the breakfast because while I was there I was able to talk with one of the parents that I see around the school quite often, and I know that she has a daughter in the same class as my daughter. We’ve never had a chance to really talk before, but I think it was Providence that we were both there at that time. She and I chatted, and I found out that she lost a son a few years ago from a drowning accident. It’s amazing how perspective of a person changes when you find out about the tragedies they’ve faced in their lives. I can’t even imagine losing either of my kids. Okay, so I placed a son for adoption 14 years ago, but that was different. I know him now. He’s a wonderful teenager (I can say that because I don’t live with him 24/7 *lol*). No, really…… He’s a great kid. And he’s still so full of potential. My kids are full of potential. Brendan, at the moment, wants to be an engineer. He’s not sure what kind except he wants to be the one that makes the most money :D. And before that he wanted to make buildings or own a shop and be a Dad. Shaeleigh wants to save animals and people and be a Mom. She loves to paint and has a sense of order. To lose that before they grew up would feel like a future robbed.

And yet there are so many kids who are robbed of their futures. The teens in Nova Scotia who died in that van accident. Two baby girls who froze on the Reserve close to here. A teenager at the hospital died from cancer. We have no idea how long we get. And here I whine about my 36 years and am afraid of what is going to happen with my kidneys. Although, to be honest, if it weren’t for my kids, I think I’d be a whole lot more okay with it. I’m selfish and want to see their potential realized.

And here I’m going to add my two cents about helping other children realize their potential. I have been a Compassion sponsor for over 10 years, and have never regretted it. The little bit that I spend each month (less than cable tv – about the cost of my cellular phone), helps a girl realize her potential when she may never have had the opportunity to otherwise. If you are reading this and do not have a child that you are sponsoring, PLEASE visit Compassion’s web site and seriously consider sponsoring today. If you do sponsor a child, write a letter today letting that child know how special he/she is. You really can make a difference.

Real Life? - Update

We were invited to a Superbowl party yesterday by good friends of ours. Those of you who really know us know that neither Bruce nor I are big sports fans – but we both love people, especially these people. So regardless of our enthusiasm (or lack thereof) for football, we willingly went. I had a fantastic time, and I think Bruce enjoyed himself, as well. I know our kids had a blast – they always love going to this particular place. And I had a really good visit with those who were there.

I love relationships. Maybe it’s the extrovert in me, but there’s nothing quite like getting together with a group of people to visit. I learnt a new way to play Scrabble – and my son got quite a kick out of playing with the Scrabble tiles to make all sorts of words. We have had Junior Scrabble for a while, but it doesn’t get pulled out and played with very often. I’m wondering, after seeing him yesterday play with the adult Scrabble tiles, if he would enjoy playing with the adult Scrabble better because each letter has a point value. Of course, it may end up being like most other board games. He appears to have an interest for a short time, but it’s really the computer games that draw his interest. What is it about the computer that completely sucks us in?

You may wonder how life is going since I said I was going to be quitting Neopets. Well....... That depends on if you think quitting is like not doing it at all anymore, or if quitting is like 'cutting back' and I still do some guild stuff once-in-a-while. It's been more like the cutting back. And sometimes it's really cut back (I didn't log into my account for a couple weeks at first) and sometimes it's not really cutting back at all (I was at the guild for a food fight all evening the other day). And now I've started doing some of the dailies again.

WHAT AM I DOING??????!!!!!?????

It started out that I just wanted to check on some guild members because they are going through a rough time. And it takes time to read everything and catch up on what's happening. And then I participate a little - but not a lot. And I've even had thoughts of running a round of What is IT? (a guild game that I was moderating). But I don't have TIME!!!! (that was for my benefit, btw). I have parish council minutes to finish editing and sending out. And I have kids to spend time with when I'm home. I have tests to go do at the hospital, and shopping that I never seem to make the time for.

I need a little shake and remind myself - what is eternal? What are you going to spend your time, energy and money on? Because wherever I invest these things, that's where my heart is.

Didn't I just say that I love relationships? Then why does the computer suck me in?

Ice Rink #2

So there have been thoughts about whether or not to continue the rink. We are learning all the mistakes we’ve made so far.

1. We did not use a level part of the yard. When we dug up the garden in the fall I dug some leaves in, and one side of the garden is higher than the other. Also, we didn’t rototill it, so there were big chunks of dirt all over it. We have a lot of clay in our garden and I’ve been attempting to add more composting materials (like leaves and grass clippings) to make it better dirt.

2. We didn’t put a tarp or any sort of plastic barrier down before adding the water. I had read and been told that all I needed to do was pack down the snow and then soak it, freeze the icy snow and that would be an okay base to work with. Uh... Ya.

3. After we packed the snow, soaked it and started trying to flood it, I re-read the instructions. It said to use 10 cm of snow to pack down. Oops. We cleared the garden, read that we needed to soak the snow, put some snow back in the “rink” and then packed it down. I’m pretty sure we didn’t use 10 cm.

So there was the thought, “At what point do we give up on the rink and just let the kids slide around on their snow disc?” Bruce did some flooding last night after Vespers and again before the liturgy this morning. So I went out when we got home to see the results. Well, it’s not a total waste. I can at least see a difference now. There are still holes in the ice, so I put some snow in those, and now we have the sprinkler on it on a fine mist to see what happens. I don’t know, at this point, if being stubborn is a virtue or just plain stupid.

Ice Rink

For the last couple weeks now I’ve had intentions to write something – and have even thought it would be good for me to keep my blog regularly updated … especially since I’m beginning the process of being tested to see if I’m a good candidate for kidney transplant. I have to make a point of going to the hospital to get an ECG and chest Xray. I have to get the hepatitis vaccine. But I did a 24 hour urine sample end of last year, so I’m glad I don’t have to do another one now.

But aside from the kidney issues, we’re attempting to build an ice skating rink in the backyard. Neither of us are carpenters, so the snow is the walls and my garden is the location. We started it about a week and a half ago and it’s still not to the point of skating. Part of the reason is because most of this week the temperatures have been crazy cold (-30s with wind chills to -50). I was home on Tuesday because we failed to plug the van in so it wouldn’t start. After a day of being plugged in, it was gracious enough to comply and allowed us transportation again. Personally, I would have said “No, Way! Do you know how cold it is out here?!?” Makes me glad my car can’t talk back.

Now to the rink. We’ve made the bottom layer with packed snow and added water so that it would be icy snow. But now when we are trying to flood it to make the water level higher, the water still seems to find all the holes in the ice and just disappears. It’s slippery, but there are not ice layers building up.
And our garden is very uneven since I put a whole bunch of leaves into it in the Fall, so it’s uneven and slippery and not flooding nicely. I’m beginning to think we should take a friend’s suggestion and just find an outdoor rink somewhere within driving distance (that would mean practically anywhere in the City), and drive the kids. Well, the rink sounded like a good idea at the beginning.