I had heard that law school can be tough on a marriage. I may talk about that another day. What I hadn’t heard was how it would affect my kids.
When I shared with others about being accepted into law school, a comment I received (more than once) was what an inspiration my going back to school would be for my kids. I’m thinking that maybe that inspiration will be coming at a later date, because they certainly aren’t inspired now. Especially my son.
My son is 11 and my daughter is 8. Most of their lives, their mom has been the working parent. I stayed home until my daughter was about 2. At that time Bruce became the stay-at-home parent and I worked full time. First at McDonalds, then in an office and eventually back into a law firm. I have been a real estate legal assistant for six years now. I was doing the majority of the real estate in the firm by myself. This was difficult at times and especially when there was the big housing boom in the city. There were many days in the summer when I would be at work late in order to get everything done. I would even go in on the weekends, sometimes.
My son seems to have forgotten that. I don’t think I can count the number of times this school year he has said he wishes that I wasn’t going to school. He wishes he would be able to see me more. Even when we have pointed out to him that sometimes he has seen me more now that I am in school than he did when I was working full time, he still seems to think he saw me more back then. I don’t really understand why he thinks this. I have seen him more during the week than I used to. Or at least, I am home more. I do homework at home. So while I am working as much (or more) than I did when I went into the office, I am at home more.
I wonder if it is because I am not a scheduled as I used to be. I worked Monday to Friday. And when I was home, I was always doing home stuff and not work or school stuff. Now, to him, I work all the time. I either go to work, go to school, or do homework. There is not really a ‘time’ he knows I won’t be working. He doesn’t like change very much. (I have heard he comes by that honestly.)
On the plus side, I never used to be able to get a kiss from my son. Now he gives me kisses all the time. And “huggies!” He is a gentle soul who cares very deeply. Hopefully when he is older he will not resent me for this time I have spent at school instead of with him. I know this time with my kids at home is so short. Before I know it, they will be grown up and out of the house. God grant me the wisdom to carve out the time my son needs.
On the other hand, I’m not sure my daughter even notices the difference. Of course, she just may not be as vocal about it.
Oh, and when asked, neither kid wants to become a lawyer. It’s too much work.
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