Forgiveness Sunday

Forgive and forget.

Today we heard in church to forgive, but not to forget. We remember so that we can help those who have sinned against us in their journey. But forgiveness is essential to heal the relationship. I honestly don’t know how to forgive without forgetting. And if I don’t forget, it is hard for me to forgive. I’m more of an “out of sight, out of mind” kind of person. I also have a hard time forgiving if the person isn’t sorry. Like I’m justified to hold onto my anger and bitterness.

Tonight we had Forgiveness Vespers. That is where we have the Vesperal Service and then afterward we go to everyone in the church, do a prostration and then say, “I have sinned against God and against you. Will you forgive me?” To which we reply, “God forgives and I forgive.” This year I said that I have been around the church community long enough that I’m sure I have offended people. When you spend time with people, eventually you are bound to hurt them.

This Lent I have decided that if I don’t pray, I don’t spend time on the computer or watching TV. Lent means nothing without prayer. I struggle with keeping a Rule of Prayer. I’m not sure if I’ll just start distracting myself other ways to keep from praying. And it’s not like I can stop working – so I will still be on the computer there. But once I get home, the computer will be off-limits if I have not already prayed.

I am also going to try to read some Orthodox books. I am hungering after something deeper, but am not entirely sure what, yet. I hope to find it in this next season. Lent usually reveals to me more of myself. I don’t imagine this Lent will be any different.

I am glad God has brought me to this place in my journey. God is gracious.

Lord have Mercy.