Attending an Orthodox Church

I think one of my lasts posts regarding our transition to the Orthodox church asked if it's possible for me to just be a Christian who happens to be attending an Orthodox church. There are many I've talked with who don't "feel" orthodox, although they "are" orthodox.

I heard a priest (sorry I don't remember who it was) on The Ark today talking about communion in the Orthodox church. It is not meant to be exclusive (although from a Protestant perspective, that's exactly what it appears to be). It is meant to be inclusive of all who are "orthodox" - knowing that everyone who takes communion is of the same belief. And the hope is that someday the divisions will be no more, and we will know that when we are in communion with one another.

So what does that have to do with me being a Christian attending the Orthodox church? Well, a point that was made, quite clearly, was that to take communion in the Orthodox church, you have to be orthodox. You don't take communion anywhere else because then you are linking your identity with whatever that belief is (be it Catholic, Mennonite, Anglican, Lutheran, or whatever). In a way I can see that. Communion at St. Vincent means much more than it does at Living Hope, for example. At Living Hope communion was very clearly explained as merely a symbol - a representation and nothing more. At St. Vincent every Sunday is stated "that this itself is your most pure body, and this itself your precious blood" (with 'your' meaning Jesus' body and blood). And the Eucharist is taken believing that it is for the healing of soul and body and for the remission of sins. To be honest, in all the years I've been Protestant, I'm not entirely sure what communion is for - other than a symbol of my belief - to remember what Christ did for us. I am a Christian; therefore, I take communion.

So, to answer my own question from a couple of days ago - Can I be a Christian who happens to attend an Orthodox church? Yes. But is that all I want, or do I want more? Do I want to be orthodox? Yes - and No. Yes, I want more of God. I want to know that what I do has meaning behind it. I want to know God in a deeper way than I've ever known before. No, I don't want to be seen as judgmental. I don't want to be labelled by the church I go to. I want to be in communion with those who are close to me whom I know have an intimate relationship with God - no matter what church they go to.

I think God weeps.