Shall We Continue?

It appears I got sidetracked for a couple of days.

I think we ended where we decided to attend both churches and I was questioning the Orthodox view of Mary.

Going to both churches was okay. When I listened to the way I talked, I could hear that as far as I was concerned Living Hope was our home church and St. Vincent of Lerins was the 'other' church. I most often referred to them as Living Hope or The Orthodox Church. It was interesting I never referred to Living Hope as The Mennonite Church.

I was also fairly defensive whenever we were at St. Vincent's. It seemed for a while that every Sunday I would hear about how great it is to be out of the Protestant churches and how bad it is in the Protestant churches. How deluded Protestants are, how right Orthodoxy is, and weren't we so glad to be Orthodox? I had assumed everyone at St. Vincent's knew we attended Living Hope in the evenings, just as I assumed everyone at Living Hope knew we attended St. Vincent's in the mornings. At one point I remember telling someone that I wasn't unhappy being Protestant, and I would appreciate the bad-mouthing to stop. After that, I don't think I heard any more anti-Protestant comments.

Now, I realize that a lot of Orthodox who had been Protestant didn't leave the Protestant world with warm cozy feelings. And for the most part, people who become Orthodox have had to put up with a lot of crap from Protestants who don't understand. We have been very fortunate. I'm beginning to see that Living Hope is full of understanding people. No one there has made us feel as though we are doing something horribly wrong. They've wanted to make sure this is something I want as well as Bruce wanting it. I've said I know God is in both places, and I can worship Him in both places.

I don't know that I'm able to go very chronologically from this point on. As far as events go, attending both churches was what we did for a year and a half. I had known at some point that we were going to eventually end up at St. Vincent's. I didn't know how long it was going to take, but I knew that's where we would be. I remember having a conversation with a friend from Living Hope about it. I had said that I knew we were going to end up at St. Vincent's, and I had some misgivings about it (I think this conversation happened last summer-ish). My friend said that I was in a unique position because I had a choice whether I would allow God to move me in that direction, or if I would refuse. This is another thing I'm not sure how it fits into the Orthodox world. There have been times in my life when I know something beforehand. I don't know how I know, I just do. And I've wondered if it's because I really don't like surprises. It's like I get a five-minute warning before something comes. I don't get a warning for everything. But like switching to the Orthodox church is one time. When I was going to place my first child for adoption was another time. But then there are things that I've felt as though I've had the warning but it hasn't happened yet.

There are a lot of things I don't understand. Not in a Protestant context nor in an Orthodox one. I realized tonight I'm tired of trying to understand. I just want to worship God, and however that comes out is fine with me.