Living Hope is doing 24-7 prayer this week. While we have stopped attending Living Hope on Sundays, we still belong to the Care Group from there. This week the meeting was in the Prayer Room. We don't have childcare (the group meets at our house), so just I went and Bruce stayed home. There weren't many of us. It was also the beginning of the week, so there wasn't much written on the walls yet, either. But it did end up being a time of sharing and caring. When we were done, I signed up to do an hour on my own.

While I was there on my own, I realized it's much easier to pray with a prayer book for an hour than it is to just come up with something on my own. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my prayer book. So I said some of the prayers I remembered by heart. I wrote a couple prayers on the walls, prayed my prayer rope ('Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me a sinner' for each knot on the bracelet around my wrist), and then prayed some of the Psalms.

In previous years I've really enjoyed my time in the Prayer Room. It seemed as though there was so much to pray for. This year I realized that I felt a little out of place. Maybe part of it is because I'm out of touch with the ministries. Or like Living Hope is a place to visit now, but it's not home any more. I also didn't feel the same longing to have a place like that to pray. We have a prayer corner (or at least area) in our house where we go to pray every day. It has our icons, our prayer books and candles. We don't write on the wall, but it's still a special spot. Before I went into the Prayer Room, I hadn't really thought of the area in our house as special. We just have it because that's the "orthodox" thing to do. But I realized that my longing to be in the Prayer Room isn't something I have so strongly anymore. I don't need a week of intense focus on prayer, because more of our whole year is focused on prayer. I see it every day in my house. (Not that I DO it every day. I just see that I SHOULD :D)

So what would Protestants think about having a spot dedicated in their house to prayer? Some people do. I've heard of someone having a certain spot she would go to do devotions and pray every morning. I also know when I was packing a house years ago, I saw a closet had been dedicated to prayer (although it was not a Christian house. I'm not sure what religion it was. Maybe Hindu?) and I thought as Christians we should do that - have a place in our houses set aside to focus on God. A physical reminder to pray. I know we should pray all the time - but I'm easily distracted. Having something constant would help. So why don't we do it more? I'm guessing because of the whole fear of idols thing. Or maybe it's something else. I don't know.

So now I'm realizing that I'm feeling more like I'm in between two worlds and not really a part of either one any more. I'm beginning to think too much like an Orthodox person to be Protestant, and I'm still too Protestant to be Orthodox. Whatever happened to my idea when I was younger that I was a Christian - who happened to attend a Baptist church? Then I was a Christian - who happened to attend a Mennonite church. Can I still be a Christian - who happens to attend an Orthodox church?