I had intended to start my job hunting tomorrow; however, earlier this week I started getting a cold and now it has hit me full force. When I talk I either sound like Kermit the Frog or it comes out in barely more than a whisper. Not the best way to make a good first impression.

I played racquetball yesterday, and it felt GREAT! It doesn't even feel like exercise. I really hope to keep it up. I just have to find my racquet, though. I had to use one at the club because I put mine away somewhere so my three year old wouldn't get it, and now I can't remember where I put it! Go figure.

Well, have a good day!

Hi! I managed to fast all of yesterday with no problem. I wasn't hungry and only felt the "need", "desire" to eat when I was around food. I was feeling so good that I was tempted to continue my fast through today, but I hadn't felt led to do a longer fast, so I broke it this morning. Bruce and I were talking about how in the Orthodox church, fasting once a week is normal. Apparently it's normal in the Jewish faith/community too. He suggested that I start fasting once a month before jumping in to do once a week. We'll see. I'm new to fasting and have had such a great experience so far that I think every Christian should do it. Of course, then I need to remember that we are not all the same, and I may have felt differently a number of years ago. Although, if I think about it, I've felt the importance to fast ever since I was in Bible College and just never have until recently. It has really been the support I receive from the Freedom You Bulletin Board that has encouraged me to step out and practice the discipline of fasting. Come to think of it, I should read Richard Foster's Book, Celebration of Discipline again. Especially the chapter on fasting.

So, I officially gave my notice this morning at the racquetball club. I'm really going to miss seeing the kids and the parents. It's almost not real that I won't be going there after the end of the month. I had signed up for racquetball on Saturdays to go through to March, and I'm planning to do those still. I'll have to pay for them now, though, since I won't have a membership any more.

I was thinking, as I was reading some past posts, how ironic it is that just after I said I was happy with my life, my life changes. And not just little change, either. I also think it's perfect timing that on Sunday Dwayne Barkman from West Portal Church came to our service and spoke of when the Israelites had to cross the Jordon. The priests had to jump right into the water before the river was stopped and the people could cross. I said to Bruce that this feels more like jumping off a cliff then stepping into a river! I know God is able. It's putting the faith I have in my head into practice with the rest of my life. It's still scary.

WOW. There has been enormous change since I last wrote. It's been a whirlwind here, let me tell you.

Over supper last Thursday (the 9th), Bruce told me how he has missed the kids since being at work. This led into a discussion about his taking parental leave until Shaeleigh is one to see if he can handle being at home with the kids full time. If it works, then I will be working and he will stay at home to look after the kids. Then he can take classes on line from Providence and not be so stressed. If he can get a few classes out of the way before we leave to go to school full time, then there will be less stress. Plus, the kids will be a little older then.

I'm nervous. I haven't looked for a job in *years*. And I've been out of the work force for over 3 years. Not as long as some, I know. But it's still long enough to be nervous.

I just tried to visit Haloscan (the site where I got my comments) and it's not there. I'll try again later, but this may be why I'm having trouble with my comments. It's good to know it's not me.

First, let me say, I am unsure as to why my comments appear and disappear at random. Sometimes you see them and sometimes you do not. Computers. . . .

What I really wanted to write about tonight is some stuff I saw on the television. I was holding my daughter (trying to get her to sleep) and channel surfing when I caught the last part of something about women as lawyers and how so many are leaving the profession even though there is an enrollment of about 60 percent in law school. It has started me thinking about, "Do I really know what I'm getting myself into - thinking about going back to law school?" I've thought that I was fairly sure that I want to do this once my kids are old enough, but once again I'm reminded of how huge the time commitment is going to be. And even though there seem to be a lot of women entering an area that has been mostly male dominated for what seems like forever, law is still geared towards a male menatlity. It's made me question if it's an area I really want to go. I think I would really enjoy law. I'm just not sure I'm up to the fight in a male dominated career. Sure, I'm competitive. But my family comes first.

The other thing I wanted to talk about is: I caught part of the National on CBC and how a man was talking with Christians and Muslims. I'm not sure where he was, but there seems to be quite a division and both sides claim that they only fight in defense. Young boys are making weapons and killing other human beings. It makes me cry. If my heart is breaking, what does God think of all this? All this killing and violence in the name of God. I'm guessing that it makes him cry, too.

So, now where to start?

My in-laws are here, which is nice. It's hard to believe the holidays are almost over. Bruce goes back to work tomorrow. It was nice having him home.

I went for coffee today with an ex-boyfriend. It went well. I hadn't seen him in about 5 years or so. I'm so thankful for my life. I love my husband, my kids, my friends, and especially God. He has been so faithful to me. I wish for him the same relationship I have with God.

I can't imagine living without God. How would I even manage day-by-day? How do people do it? He is my strength. He is my rock. He is my reason for living. Without God, life is meaningless. What is the chief end of man? To glorify God. All I am is because of God. Everything I have is because of God. There is nothing I have to give him which he has not already given me. So many things I've heard before and now there is clarity. A new understanding of what these sayings mean. It's like reading the same passage of scripture over and over again until all of a sudden one day the light goes on and I say, "Oooohhhhhh, I get it!"

The tree is down. We have room in our living room again. We have a new vacuum cleaner, and that makes me happy. It's a bagless one with a hepa filter. And it's even purple!!!! Yay!!!

Boy, I'm sure jumping all over the place tonight. Did I mention that I love my life?

The last time I tried to do anything, I couldn't publish. So here I am again trying to work on this. I have a lot to say, but am afraid to type it all out until I find out if I can publish. So. . . . here goes.