I take travelling for granted. Not that we travel often or really very far.
This past weekend we visited my in-laws to celebrate my father-in-law’s 85th birthday. My brother-in-law lives on one side of us in Alberta. My parents-in-law live on the other side in Manitoba. So to visit, we usually have to travel in one direction or the other.
This time we went West. In typical Prairie Spring fashion, the weather was not very good. We had fog on our way out there, and snow and ice on the roads on the way back. This made travelling interesting. And prayerful. We were very thankful for the prayers for travelling that we received from our church family before we left. I am sure our guardian angels were working overtime.
Believe it or not, there were some people who were crazy enough to pass us, even with the less-than-desirable road conditions. Unfortunately, we think one of the trucks that passed us ended up in an accident. We were told there was a rollover on the highway ahead of us, and we had to wait an hour for the emergency crews to clean it up. There were also times when we were only going 60 km/hr on the highway, which made the day-long trip even longer. Although both Bruce and I agreed that we would rather get home later than not get home at all.
I was also thinking about how we take the distance we travel for granted. There was a time when a trek across the Prairies would have taken weeks, not hours. Even after the railroad connected the country, it still would have taken quite a while. The world has definitely become a smaller place.
Lord have Mercy on those who were in the rollover. Thank you God for watching over us.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Parenting
A couple of times tonight I was thinking about my parenting compared to the way I was parented. I know that most times we parent the way we were parented. However, twice tonight I was struck by how differently I approach my kids from the way it appeared that my parents interacted with me.
First, I don’t remember ever hearing an apology from my parents. Tonight on the way home from church I apologized to my son. I said something to him that was unfair and out-of-line, and let him know I was wrong. Second, I was tucking in my daughter and realized that there are only a handful of times I remember being tucked in by my mom. Those were special times which I loved.
I’m not sure what the reasoning was behind never apologizing. Unless it was because they assumed they were always right. And I wonder if not tucking me in was to try to help me be more independent. I’m not sure. But I was an angry and fearful child. While I was also strong-willed (quite stubborn, actually), it took me quite a while to gain confidence in myself. I came across self-assured, when really I was an emotional wreck.
I wonder what my kids will remember when they are my age. I hope they remember being loved.
First, I don’t remember ever hearing an apology from my parents. Tonight on the way home from church I apologized to my son. I said something to him that was unfair and out-of-line, and let him know I was wrong. Second, I was tucking in my daughter and realized that there are only a handful of times I remember being tucked in by my mom. Those were special times which I loved.
I’m not sure what the reasoning was behind never apologizing. Unless it was because they assumed they were always right. And I wonder if not tucking me in was to try to help me be more independent. I’m not sure. But I was an angry and fearful child. While I was also strong-willed (quite stubborn, actually), it took me quite a while to gain confidence in myself. I came across self-assured, when really I was an emotional wreck.
I wonder what my kids will remember when they are my age. I hope they remember being loved.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Take a Benylin Day
When you were a kid, did you ever try to stay home sick? I soon learned that I had to prove to my mom I was practically dying and unable to move before she would let me stay home. Her favourite line was, “Well, Just go and if you still don’t feel well, then you can come home.” This has carried over into my adult life. Even if I am not feeling well, I still get ready and go to work. It is like I have been programmed into believing that in all circumstances you just push through. If you fall over in the meantime, well then you’ve convinced everyone around you that you really are sick and not faking it. The only thing is, all my co-workers hear me coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose, and probably think, “Why didn’t that woman stay home? Now we’re all going to get sick! Geesh!”
I had a rhythm going at work yesterday. Blow nose. Sanitize hands. Put Vaseline on nose. Sanitize hands. Blow. Sanitize. Vaseline. Sanitize. I was using so much sanitizer, one of my co-workers thought there was cleaning happening in the building.
This morning I didn't go into work. I won’t be taking Benylin, but I will drink lots of honey and lemon, gargle with salt water, and rub Vicks on my throat and face, and even on my feet with socks. I’m not sure any of that will help me get better faster. But at least while I’m resting I’ll smell nice.
I had a rhythm going at work yesterday. Blow nose. Sanitize hands. Put Vaseline on nose. Sanitize hands. Blow. Sanitize. Vaseline. Sanitize. I was using so much sanitizer, one of my co-workers thought there was cleaning happening in the building.
This morning I didn't go into work. I won’t be taking Benylin, but I will drink lots of honey and lemon, gargle with salt water, and rub Vicks on my throat and face, and even on my feet with socks. I’m not sure any of that will help me get better faster. But at least while I’m resting I’ll smell nice.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Try Again
There are times I've joked with people about how socially backward I can be. The people who know me usually laugh, and I'll say, "No, really. My best friend is only my best friend because she got amnesia." They laugh and think I'm joking and then I tell them the story of how we became friends.
When I walked into my new high school for the first time, I was completely overwhelmed. I had come from a school of 300 to a class of 300. My most vivid memories of the first day are walking to the gym where our day of registration was to begin and having to walk across the vast expanse of the gymnasium to the bleachers at the other end of the room while hundreds of eyes watched my progress, all the while realizing there wasn’t a single familiar face in that crowd. I vaguely remember being amazed at how much the school fees were as I was paying them out of my own money. And I got lost in the building and on the way home. In general, it was a day best forgotten.
Cheryl has a different memory of that day. She tells me she remembers noticing that I was new and attempted to talk with me at some point to introduce herself – realizing that I most likely didn’t have any friends and was alone. While I don’t remember this conversation, she tells me I came across with an attitude of "why-are-you-talking-to-me?" so decided she wouldn’t continue the conversation. This is one of the points of the day that I have blocked out of my memory.
Life continued on and Cheryl and I ended up having common friends, but didn't really get to know each other well. Remember, she thought I was a stuck-up snob who came across as though I was better than everyone else. Those outstanding social skills shining through.
We did take a class together. Chemistry. She had missed some classes, so one day I turned to talk with her. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I noticed you haven't been here lately.
Cheryl: I've been here all week.
Me: Oh. Well, (trying to recover, points to her hand) I noticed you have a bandage on your hand.
Cheryl: Uh, yeah. (that was kind of obvious)
Me: (brightens thinking this may go better) Good thing it's your left hand, eh?
Cheryl: I'm left handed.
Me: Oh. (turns to talk to the person on the other side)
Keep in mind, her opinion of me wasn't very high to start with. Now I'm not only a stuck up snob, I'm an unobservant idiot, too. It turns out she had been missing, but about a week earlier. In order to catch up on the work she missed, Cheryl took down my phone number and put it in her pencil case.
In the summer, Cheryl ended up in the hospital with amnesia. She had her pencil case with her which had my phone number. She thought I must be a good friend of hers because she was carrying my number around. So she called me up. I was so excited to hear from her, and she said she had no idea we weren't really good friends from the way I reacted. I visited her everyday, and by the time she got her memory back she already liked me.
Thank God for second chances.
When I walked into my new high school for the first time, I was completely overwhelmed. I had come from a school of 300 to a class of 300. My most vivid memories of the first day are walking to the gym where our day of registration was to begin and having to walk across the vast expanse of the gymnasium to the bleachers at the other end of the room while hundreds of eyes watched my progress, all the while realizing there wasn’t a single familiar face in that crowd. I vaguely remember being amazed at how much the school fees were as I was paying them out of my own money. And I got lost in the building and on the way home. In general, it was a day best forgotten.
Cheryl has a different memory of that day. She tells me she remembers noticing that I was new and attempted to talk with me at some point to introduce herself – realizing that I most likely didn’t have any friends and was alone. While I don’t remember this conversation, she tells me I came across with an attitude of "why-are-you-talking-to-me?" so decided she wouldn’t continue the conversation. This is one of the points of the day that I have blocked out of my memory.
Life continued on and Cheryl and I ended up having common friends, but didn't really get to know each other well. Remember, she thought I was a stuck-up snob who came across as though I was better than everyone else. Those outstanding social skills shining through.
We did take a class together. Chemistry. She had missed some classes, so one day I turned to talk with her. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I noticed you haven't been here lately.
Cheryl: I've been here all week.
Me: Oh. Well, (trying to recover, points to her hand) I noticed you have a bandage on your hand.
Cheryl: Uh, yeah. (that was kind of obvious)
Me: (brightens thinking this may go better) Good thing it's your left hand, eh?
Cheryl: I'm left handed.
Me: Oh. (turns to talk to the person on the other side)
Keep in mind, her opinion of me wasn't very high to start with. Now I'm not only a stuck up snob, I'm an unobservant idiot, too. It turns out she had been missing, but about a week earlier. In order to catch up on the work she missed, Cheryl took down my phone number and put it in her pencil case.
In the summer, Cheryl ended up in the hospital with amnesia. She had her pencil case with her which had my phone number. She thought I must be a good friend of hers because she was carrying my number around. So she called me up. I was so excited to hear from her, and she said she had no idea we weren't really good friends from the way I reacted. I visited her everyday, and by the time she got her memory back she already liked me.
Thank God for second chances.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Forgiveness Sunday
Forgive and forget.
Today we heard in church to forgive, but not to forget. We remember so that we can help those who have sinned against us in their journey. But forgiveness is essential to heal the relationship. I honestly don’t know how to forgive without forgetting. And if I don’t forget, it is hard for me to forgive. I’m more of an “out of sight, out of mind” kind of person. I also have a hard time forgiving if the person isn’t sorry. Like I’m justified to hold onto my anger and bitterness.
Tonight we had Forgiveness Vespers. That is where we have the Vesperal Service and then afterward we go to everyone in the church, do a prostration and then say, “I have sinned against God and against you. Will you forgive me?” To which we reply, “God forgives and I forgive.” This year I said that I have been around the church community long enough that I’m sure I have offended people. When you spend time with people, eventually you are bound to hurt them.
This Lent I have decided that if I don’t pray, I don’t spend time on the computer or watching TV. Lent means nothing without prayer. I struggle with keeping a Rule of Prayer. I’m not sure if I’ll just start distracting myself other ways to keep from praying. And it’s not like I can stop working – so I will still be on the computer there. But once I get home, the computer will be off-limits if I have not already prayed.
I am also going to try to read some Orthodox books. I am hungering after something deeper, but am not entirely sure what, yet. I hope to find it in this next season. Lent usually reveals to me more of myself. I don’t imagine this Lent will be any different.
I am glad God has brought me to this place in my journey. God is gracious.
Lord have Mercy.
Today we heard in church to forgive, but not to forget. We remember so that we can help those who have sinned against us in their journey. But forgiveness is essential to heal the relationship. I honestly don’t know how to forgive without forgetting. And if I don’t forget, it is hard for me to forgive. I’m more of an “out of sight, out of mind” kind of person. I also have a hard time forgiving if the person isn’t sorry. Like I’m justified to hold onto my anger and bitterness.
Tonight we had Forgiveness Vespers. That is where we have the Vesperal Service and then afterward we go to everyone in the church, do a prostration and then say, “I have sinned against God and against you. Will you forgive me?” To which we reply, “God forgives and I forgive.” This year I said that I have been around the church community long enough that I’m sure I have offended people. When you spend time with people, eventually you are bound to hurt them.
This Lent I have decided that if I don’t pray, I don’t spend time on the computer or watching TV. Lent means nothing without prayer. I struggle with keeping a Rule of Prayer. I’m not sure if I’ll just start distracting myself other ways to keep from praying. And it’s not like I can stop working – so I will still be on the computer there. But once I get home, the computer will be off-limits if I have not already prayed.
I am also going to try to read some Orthodox books. I am hungering after something deeper, but am not entirely sure what, yet. I hope to find it in this next season. Lent usually reveals to me more of myself. I don’t imagine this Lent will be any different.
I am glad God has brought me to this place in my journey. God is gracious.
Lord have Mercy.
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