ADELLE’S FAITH STORY

God is Faithful.

When I was about 4 or 5, my Mom started dating the man who would eventually become my Dad. But before they were married, his little sister told me how wonderful Sunday School was, so I told my Mom I wanted to go. It was at this point I realized that I loved God. I didn’t understand about sin or Jesus’ dying on the cross. However, I believe God honoured the heart of a 5 year old by watching over me and drawing me nearer to Him even when I would rather have run away.

After my parents married it was mandatory for me to attend Sunday School. In grade 8 I told my Dad that I was not going back to church and he couldn’t make me since neither he nor Mom went anyway. Only God wasn’t ready to let me go that easily. He brought people and circumstances into my life such that I ended up going to a youth group. Now I thought it didn’t really matter that everyone met at the church because it wasn’t really a religious thing. There, one of the guys challenged me to honestly face God. At that point I figured that while I believed in the existence of God, He could go His way and I would go mine, then everything would be just fine.

God wouldn’t give up.

We moved from BC to Saskatchewan and the people I was hanging around with were all Christians or hung out with Christians. I ended up attending a youth group again, but it was not the same because I was heading down a dead end in my life. Nothing could make me happy with myself - and by all appearances I should have been happy.

One night I realized I had 2 choices. I could choose life with God, or I could choose death. I was more afraid of dying than of God, so I cried out to God for help.

While I felt as though I were floating on the ceiling the next day, the euphoria didn’t last. I had expected immediate, radical, lasting change in my emotional state, my behaviors and my self perception. But reality hit me hard and I struggled all the time with "Who am I in Christ?" What did it mean?

I had intentions of going to university; however, God had other plans. He told me to go to bible college, and so I did.

Talk about my world turning upside down. There were so many things about myself that I had to face. Out of my years there, the education I value the most was the challenges God gave to my character.

The following verses in Romans 5 has great meaning for me:
"… but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

All of a sudden I was dealing with a great deal of change and loss in my life. I had been in a fairly serious relationship that ended suddenly (from the time he told me he wanted to marry me to the time he married someone else was 6 months), my grandfather died from cancer 3 months after it was diagnosed, the college I was attending was shutting down, and my Mom left my Dad. Rather than cling to God at this point, I placed my reliance on my boyfriend. I had struggled in the past to remain physically pure and gave up the fight in that relationship. The result was I ended up pregnant. My boyfriend and I were engaged (since that was the "proper" thing to do). The only problem was that I knew I wasn’t ready to be married; consequently, I called off the engagement.

I had a friend who suggested I look into adoption and I did - assuming that after I kept my baby I could tell everyone I had looked into all the options.

Once again, God wouldn’t let go and He had other plans.

The father had stopped talking with me, and I was crying almost every night. Knowing that God was asking me to entrust the care of my child to someone else, I began to look for adoptive parents. I had already told God that if I didn’t like them, I was going to keep my son. Only, I did like them, and God gave the story of Hannah and Samuel to both the adoptive mother and myself - to her as her cries for a child were being heard and answered, and to me as the mother who placed her son into the care of another to be trained for the work of the Lord. There were other "coincidences". Far too many to think they were not from God.

If you ever wonder as you struggle through something that seems far too difficult to bear, remember that God uses these times as a Refiner’s Fire to temper us and get rid of the impurities.

Before leaving the hospital, we had a dedication service with both me and the adoptive couple. But the day I walked out of the hospital without a child in my arms was one of the most heartbreaking moments in my life. I saw the elevator doors close with me on one side and my son on the other. It was as though someone tore a piece of me away that I knew I would never get back.

Even in the midst of all this grief, God was still there.

When I begged Him to tell me why my child was taken from me, He answered, "just as David was punished for his sin with Bathsheba by his son being taken from him," so I was being punished, too. All of a sudden the meaning of Hebrews 12:7-11 made sense.
"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
For years I’d wondered about being a "son of Abraham" especially since I was a woman. At that moment I grasped my identity with God. He is my Father and I am His daughter. His love for me is even more that I can imagine.

Another change that came to my heart was my being so judgmental. All of a sudden I found myself dealing with the same situation where I had wondered, "How could those girls be so stupid?" Now I have known deep pain and deep healing.

And our God does more than we ask for or can imagine. While I had chosen an open adoption, I could not have anticipated that I would be able to actively participate in my birth son’s life. His mom is now one of my closest friends, and I have been blessed with not only loving him, but his whole family.

Then in His time, God brought the perfect man for me into my life. I’ve also been blessed with 2 beautiful children whom I now have the privilege of training up for the Lord.

God’s greatness doesn’t end there and He is still continually working with me - seeing as I’m not perfect yet and always seem to be making more mistakes.

I look forward to the day when from his lips I will hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Until then "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."