Comment to Andrew

I attempted to comment on a friend's blog when asked some tough questions. However, I received this error:

Your HTML cannot be accepted: Must be at most 4,096 characters

Therefore I am posting my comment here. This is for Andrew in reply to post 8. The original post must be read before the following will make sense.
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First I want to say I am answering your questions as a friend and give my opinion with the caveat that I not be held liable for any decisions you would choose to make after reading my opinion.

Who was more in the wrong? Person 1 or Person 2?
Based only on the facts you have given, both were wrong. Neither were MORE wrong. Wrong is wrong. If you are looking for someone to be justified, I know I am not going to give you that justification.

These people are married. Does that change the situation?
No.

Do you already have a "Gut reaction" as to if the guy struck the girl, or the girl struck the guy? Why was that your first reacation?
I had assumed the girl hit the guy, but that was also because from the tone of the facts I had assumed you were the one trying to force the discussion and are looking for justification in the altercation and confirmation that you are right in this. I may be wrong, but you asked what my “gut reaction” was.

A)If you right away thought that the man struck the woman, why was that your first instinct?
it was not my first thought.

B)Why does society think it's "more ok" for a woman to strike a man then a man to strike a woman, even if the situations are identical
It is not “more ok.” However, the damage a woman can do hitting a man is probably much less than the damage of a man hitting a woman. Same as the difference between a child hitting an adult or an adult hitting a child. Neither is right, and neither should be acceptable. But chances are the adult hitting the child would cause more damage than the child hitting the adult. It may also be expected in the child/adult scenario that the adult should act with maturity. If the situation involved two adults, they both should be mature.
Where are you getting your facts that says society thinks it is more okay for a woman to hit a man?

C)If Striking someone else out of anger and retaliation is ABUSE why is it justified for women and not at all for women?
Again, where are you getting your facts for this? Although I may argue that striking someone is battery, and depending on the circumstances which preceded the battery, there may also be assault, abuse falls into a different category and is not based on a one-time incident. I would argue that abuse can be perpetrated by men or women and it is about having power over a person through fear.

D)If women want equality (and for the most part I think it's a good thing if its in a healthy way) why would the women get a minor charge (if at all) while the man would have "the book" thrown at him?
I would hope that gender shouldn’t matter in the legal system. Ideally it shouldn’t. But I also know that sometimes the outcome of court depends on the facts presented to the judge and the way the judge interprets those facts.
Tell me something….. Why are more black men arresting in Toronto? Why are more aboriginals processed for crime in Saskatchewan? Why are there still some cases where comments are made that the woman was “asking for it,” because of the way she was dressed?

E)What if the WOMAN had the history of violent outbursts... would that still make this "more ok" then if the man had struck the woman (given no history of violent outbursts?)
Abuse is not always violent. And I will say again that hitting is never okay. Physical violence perpetrated by one person to another is never okay.

If I can throw in an extra two cents here…. You cannot change your spouse. You can only change you. You can determine how you will act and react. You are not a victim. In our house today came the words, “Don’t make me have to yell at you!” This is wrong in so many ways. Another person never makes you yell at them. Another person never makes you hit them. You choose to yell. You choose to hit. You may be angry, but they do not make you angry. Their choices may anger you. But what is your goal? What is it they are blocking that you cannot reach? And then ask yourself if you can reach your goal another way, or does the goal need to change?

You are not asking easy questions. What is your goal by asking them? Be honest.

I’m going to say it again. You cannot change anyone but yourself. Work on you, and your relationships around you will change. But remember, you have to be honest (brutally honest) with yourself. And don’t be afraid of what you find out about yourself. We all have garbage. But we are all covered by grace, also. An honest heart God will not deny.