Things don't seem to be going so well for me lately. I think I must be feeling down about myself. I'm feeling as though there's not much good or productive coming from me lately. And while I'm needing encouragement, what I'm hearing is critisism. Oh, it may be constructive critisism, but I'm having a hard time taking it anyway.

I've come back to the thoughts I used to have:

Why would God give me the personality and abilities of a leader when there is no one willing to follow? Why am I like this? Can I be something different? Just for a little while? I don't know how to be a good leader.

Maybe that's all true. Maybe it's all just my perspective. I don't know.

I guess it doesn't help that I'm dealing with the fact that my Grandma has terminal cancer. I'm worried that we won't make it out to see her in time. Or that we will be so close and still miss her.

Pray for me.