Last night at church I realized that I feel as though I just can't continue on the way I have. I'm having a hard time with 2 jobs, especially with shift work. Not having a regular schedule is taking its toll on me.

I've decided that I need to find something else to replace my shift work job. So I'm revamping my resume and hoping that something better will surface. I know that when I do leave that job, I will feel bad. There are some good people there, and it has served us well when we needed it.

Passion for Drama

The drama last night went really well. I made it through without one cough or sniffle. God is good. I even remembered all of my lines. Of course, I was covered with prayer and was a bundle of nerves. I'm so thankful for everyone who prayed for me.

Now it's time to start working on some of the other dramas that are coming up. It always seems as though I only have enough room in my head (my life) to work on one at a time. But I'm going to have to start thinking about the next 3. Getting together people, props, etc.

I love doing drama so much, I sometimes wonder why there aren't more people who share my passion. Or I assume that everyone sees it the same way I do, and that's not true. It's like at the worship retreat we had at our church a little while ago, we were supposed to bring an item we thought was a visual representation of why we are a part of leading worship. I brought a mirror because I want to be a reflection of God, and I had assumed that many people would bring mirrors. As it turned out, I was the only one. (There were so many other good visual representations, though)

So, I know that there are other people who have great passion for the area they are working in and wonder why more people don't feel the way they do. We all have passions (and gifts) in different areas. I think that's great. Otherwise life would be so boring if we were all the same.

The Bleeding Woman

I'm going to be doing a monologue at church today (our church meets in the evening instead of the morning). This year we are focusing on Transformed Lives - The Lives that Jesus Touched.

It's been amazing to see the process of how this came about. It was actually a year ago that our drama team, Heartbeat, was thinking of doing a fundraiser dessert theatre with short portrayals of the characters of Christmas. But our Christmas was so busy already with drama that we thought maybe it would be better if we could come up with scripts that could be done at any time of the year. That's when we thought of doing monologues based on "The Lives That Jesus Touched." So we began writing and looking for monologues that would work. Then my pastor told me about how God seemed to be leading him to talk about Transformed Lives this year. Well, I saw the connection between his theme and our monologues immediately.

So the one I'm doing tonight is actually one that I wrote myself. The only thing is, I caught a cold over a week ago that I still have. I've been coughing and sniffling and my voice cracks occasionally. Physically, that doesn't make for a good drama performance. I've been praying that especially during the performance I won't have a single cough or sniffle.

Here is the script of the monologue that I'm doing:

You may never believe my story. There is a man, a man named Jesus. I had heard about him. News can travel really fast around here, and everyone was talking about how this man was actually healing people. The lame were getting up and walking. The blind were seeing again.

Well, I wasn’t lame, or blind. But I needed healing, too. I just wasn’t sure if Jesus would see me. I didn’t know if he would think that I was worthy of being healed. You see, I was unclean. Always. Most women are unclean for a short time every month. Not me. I started bleeding, and bleeding, and it wouldn’t stop. The doctor couldn’t to help me. Do you know what that’s like? To know that people will not be with you? To feel like a second-class citizen?

Oh, my husband would try to understand. And he was good for a while. But even he got frustrated. We hadn’t been together for a very long time. No one visited anymore. And I was so alone. It felt as though I’d spent a lifetime crying. The only way I heard anything was from listening to people talking outside. That’s when I heard about Jesus. And I thought to myself, "If only I could just get close enough. Maybe he’ll see me. Maybe he’ll take pity on me. Maybe he will heal me and I won’t be so alone anymore. So I went out. I needed to at least try.

At first I stayed on the edges where the people wouldn’t notice me. Not that anyone would have. There were so many people. Crowds followed him everywhere, all the time. And so did I. I listened. That man – he spoke such words of wisdom. He is filled with such kindness. I do not doubt. He is a holy man.

And then, one day I saw my chance. I thought, "If only I could touch him, surely I will be healed." There were so many people around, I was sure he would not notice. So I did it. When I reached out and touched the hem of his cloak, I felt it. I was healed! It was true! But then he stopped. I was terrified. "Oh, no!" I thought, "He’s noticed!" He asked who touched him. In the crowds of people, there were many touching him, but I knew what he meant. He meant me. What should I do?

I stepped forward. "It was me," I said, afraid that he could take away this wonderful miracle. But I shouldn’t have doubted. Do you know what he said? "Your faith has healed you." My faith! Oh praise be to God! Praised be he in the heavens. Praised be to Jesus the Christ! Messiah!

Now I was crying again, but these were tears of joy. I felt the whole weight of the world lifted from me. I was free! Free from this shame that I carried around. Free from the worry. Free from exile. My Jesus freed me. Yes, my Jesus. I will love him forever. I owe him my life.